A new year is upon us once again, and everywhere I look people are looking back over the old year and looking forward to the new. What are we looking for? Maybe we are seeking to learn from our mistakes. Maybe we just want to relive the best moments. Maybe we are just searching for the things that defined our lives in the past year. I’m not sure. I’m not even certain that I am supposed to know.

Looking back over my own year, I am reminded once again that our lives seem to be defined by births, deaths and, always the love of G_d. In 2006 I lost my youngest son, Samuel Earl. That was an experience that went way beyond hard, way beyond painful. I hope and pray that you never experience a loss like it. Birth is supposed to be a joyous time, not a time for grieving. As long as I live I will never forget the haunting silence of Samuel Earl’s birth. The look on my husband’s face, his unbearable grief, will haunt me always. The kindness of family, friends and even strangers during that time will always temper the hurt, however, and always remind me of the grace and mercy of G_d in even the most painful and trying of circumstances.

Losing a child would have, and maybe even should have been enough hardship for any family in any year, but G_d wasn’t through changing us. Eaglewood lost his main job, our primary source of income. Both of our vehicles broke down beyond repair. Our washing machine, and refrigerator both died. We were still in the midst of fresh grief. We were still struggling to help our children and each other try to make sense of the awful “why” of the whole thing, and life just seemed to grow harder and harder. Where was G_d? Why would He let all of this happen? Were we not following Him?

G_d was with us. We were following Him and He was faithful to carry us through in every moment of every day. We saw G_d reaching out to us in the faces and the actions of family members and friends who offered us everything from rides to buy groceries, to loans of vehicles and help with repairs, to gifts. We saw strangers come to our aid for no real reason other than G_d Himself must have led them to do so. We saw our lives change, our relationships deepen and grow, and our family transformed forever. We still don’t know the “why” of the thing, but we no longer really care. Not just at Christmas this year, but all year long we have seen, and LIVED the real reason for celebrating Christmas which is “Emanuel, G_d with us”. While I would never wish upon anyone else the year we have had, I cannot help but wish you all the experience of knowing that G_d is truly with you, too.

So, our year was defined by a birth, a death, and the awesome love of G_d. What was your year defined by? What will define your new year? Most importantly of all, what will define your life?

One behalf of Eaglewood, Ditto, Pookie, Sneefert, Puddleglum and myself, I would like to wish you all the very happiest of new years! May your whole year be truly blessed, filled with unspeakable joy, and overflowing with the love of your Creator.